Why I Decided to See a Therapist

May is mental health awareness month so I figured what better way to celebrate than by telling my own story. Often times, mental health carries a very negative connotation, especially in the Black community. Many of our parents/grandparents will suggest that depression isn’t real. Or that we can “pray away” the issues we’re dealing with. And while prayer and church can definitely be a part of the healing process, they aren’t the only part. Seeing a therapist has a lot of benefits.

I started seeing a therapist towards the end of March after struggling with a pregnancy loss. On the outside, you couldn’t tell that I was still struggling most days. I was back into my normal routine and trying to leave the house with a smile daily. But I also found myself crying everyday. Sometimes several times a day. Things happened so fast and I didn’t know what to do but fake it til I made it. I knew I was taking on too much emotionally but I couldn’t even bring myself search for a therapist. No matter how much I knew I needed it. Life kept moving and so did I.

While I was at the Brave Summit, I heard a lot about mental health and why it was important. Things I already knew but had yet to apply to myself. I was so used to giving other people advice and helping them work through their problems that I couldn’t see the need to take my own advice. And still, at a time when I needed support, I felt myself still giving the small bit of energy I had to others. But when Amanda Seales said “Therapy is like a gym membership for your brain” it sparked something in me.

“Erin, how can you preach about better for everyone else but not seek it for yourself?”

While talking to a few girls at BRAVE I learned (or was reminded) about therapyforblackgirls.com, an online directory to help Black women find Black therapists. I knew this was my sign to stop BSing and get the help I needed. Truthfully, I wasn’t ashamed or discouraged about getting help. I just didn’t know where to find it and how comfortable I would be with the person I found. When it comes to doctors and specialist, I am very picky in what I am looking for. I like to have Black, female doctors because they can understand me as a young Black woman. So when looking for a therapist, I wanted a younger Black woman; someone who mirrored me. I felt she would relate to me better. Through the website, I was able to find therapists in my area and review their profiles in one place before making a selection.

Searching for a doctor or therapist can be a stressful process. Therapy For Black Girls took away a lot of the anxiety in the process. The first meeting with my therapist, I cried as soon as I sat down. There was so much weight I was carrying and so much I couldn’t wait to get off of my chest. Of course she couldn’t help me work through all of my problems in one meeting. But I literally felt lighter when I left. I was able to unload some of the things that I had bottled up. I also discovered a few things that I didn’t realize were bothering me.

Benefits of Seeking Mental Healthcare

Before I decided to see a therapist I did try talking to people in my circle. But I couldn’t find the balance between people who acted like nothing happened and those who treated me like I was an inch away from being sent to the nearest psych ward. It was honestly a relief to speak to someone who was outside of my situation and without judgement. Although I was speaking to a mental health professional, I felt very comfortable. I didn’t feel “crazy” or like I was on the edge of self-destruction. I was able to have someone listen to me as I talk and give advice that was valuable. Even though I feel I have a better handle on things now, I’ve still been seeing her consistently because I know healing doesn’t happen overnight. And truthfully, it is an eye opening process.

Mental health is something that we tend to ignore. But we should all take it more seriously. Depression and anxiety are real things that effect us daily. If you run from them you could start to suffer from long term effects like stress and heart attacks. I encourage everyone to see a licensed therapist. Whether you’re dealing with a tramautic event, stressed with work, or looking to learn more about self care. Mental health care should not be a negative thing.