The grieving process is never-ending

It’s been about 8 months since I lost my seed. I watched my due date come and go. I’ve had to celebrate Mother’s Day, pregnancy announcements, and baby showers. There’s what feels like a constant influx in pregnancies popping up online. To say that grief strikes randomly is an understatement. For a long time, I just assumed that I would get to a point where it no longer affected me. I’ve been to therapy and I’ve talked about it so what more do I need? In reality, that’s the wrong mindset. The grieving process is never-ending. You will have good days and you will have bad. But as long as you still have days to count you’re winning.

Beware when utilizing miscarriage support groups

I was in search of women who would understand what I was going through. I needed to vent and feel understood. I didn’t want to be told to “just pray about it” or that “you can try again.” I wanted to hear from people who had been where I was. But some of the “support groups” I found had more people hurting than giving hope. Remember everyone’s experience is different. It’s easy to sink into negativity in a group where everyone is discouraged. Look for groups with balance; those who can relate because they’re going through and those who can relate because they’ve been there. The two groups I found very helpful are “Sisters in Loss” by Erica McAfee and “Black Angel Moms” by Jeanae Hopgood.

It’s okay to cancel plans

I made a lot of plans before my loss and suddenly I didn’t want to do them anymore. I needed time to get back to myself and find balance. I am already an introverted extrovert so leaving the house became even more difficult. There were times when I would make a bunch of plans and then find myself in a mood. Or I would leave the house and end up being triggered by something. The more I tried to force myself to go out, the higher my anxiety went. I had to learn that it’s okay to cancel plans when you’re still healing. After talking with friends and family, I was encouraged to talk to them when I was having those moments because it was understandable. Talk about a sigh of relief!

You can be happy for others and sad for yourself

After my miscarriage, it seemed like pregnancy was everywhere. I had to delete social media for a few days because the sight of babies and pregnant women made me cry. I would try to avoid conversations about pregnancy, I definitely avoided baby showers, and I honestly didn’t want to be around newborns. It wasn’t that I was jealous or unhappy for them…I was just sad for myself. It created a trigger in my mind that was a reminder of my loss. After a while, I started to feel bad but explaining to people what I was going through mentally helped me feel better. I learned that you can both be happy for someone and sad for yourself. Now I’ve started creating escape plans that way if I become overwhelmed I can make a smooth exit.

It’s common to blame yourself. Don’t!

I spent a lot of time blaming myself even though I knew I did nothing wrong. I mean, there’s no way I could possibly get my little blueberry of a baby stuck in my fallopian tubes. But understanding that 1 in 5 women will experience a miscarriage helped. In hard situations, your mind will wander and create scenarios. Don’t let it! Most miscarriages terminate themselves due to chromosome abnormalities. More than likely, your body knew something was wrong before you did. When a negative thought arises, counter it with a positive one.

It’s more likely for you to have a successful next pregnancy

Over time, worry and fear took over my mind. The fear of not being able to carry children becomes so real. While other women who miscarried were scared to get pregnant again, I wanted to get pregnant again to prove to myself that I could do it. Once I came out of my depression a lot of that doubt subsided. I learned that 85% of women who have had one miscarriage will have a successful next pregnancy, which is a huge percentage. Worry only makes things harder.

Ignore questions about when you will have children

I spent many nights crying after being asked, “So when are you having children?” “Do you have kids?” And truth is, most people just don’t know. They don’t know the pain and reality of women who have miscarried. They don’t understand the fear that comes along with the idea of having another miscarriage. And they definitely don’t understand that some women just don’t want children. It’s just common practice to assume all women will procreate. Feel free to educate them. But also know that you don’t have to give a response.

Above all, remember that some days will be good and some will be bad. But there are people around to help you through. You’re not alone.

The post 7 Things They Don’t Tell You About Miscarriage appeared first on Running Erins.

I got my degree in Mass Communications in 2014. When I was in school, I took 2 different unpaid internship with magazines. I just knew I would have ease finding a job when I graduated. WRONG! Once I finally landed a stable full-time position it was not in my career field. But it allowed me to get a Master’s degree for free.99! So I decided to get my Master’s in Public Relations Management. But I didn’t have much formal experience with being a “publicist”. Sure I could write the press releases and work events but could I pitch? Could I create a sponsorship deck? Maybe with the help of Google but I needed the experience. Something I could actually put on my resume.

I remember looking for jobs, seeing that people wanted interns with a Bachelor’s degree and thinking “Ew. Why would I do that?” I think part of that came from how bad the job market is for recent graduates. Looking back now, I’m actually extremely grateful for the opportunity the internship provided. Not only did I enjoy what I was doing, I was able focus on something outside of my everyday activities at work . Which brings me to this….here are a few reasons you should take an internship even if you have a degree.

5 Reasons to Take An Internship After Graduating:

1. Test the Waters. You may come out of school and still be unsure which path you want to take. And that is okay! An internship can help you see the day-to-day life of someone in the field. For me, I came out of my internship feeling extremely comfortable and knowing that I still wanted to pursue communications.
2. Gaining Experience. If you know me (or have read previous posts) you know that I am an advocate for learning. Whether it’s in the classroom or in the field, you can always learn something new. Through my internship I was able to learn new skills and even get hands on knowledge with the skills I learned previously. This brings me to my next point….
3. Refresh Your Knowledge. If you’re like me and you ended up in a different career field, chances are you may need to brush up on your skills. Interning helped me get back into swing of communications. It gave me the chance to go into my memory bank to pull out old tricks.
4. Resume Building. Interning is a resume builder. Self explanatory! Those new skills can be added. It can also increase the length of your skills. For example, if you completed one 6-month internship already and you take another 6-month internship. You now have one year of experience.
5. Networking! I’ll be honest and say I did not realize the value of networking when I was in school. I was in a few organizations and I stuck with them. Interning allowed me to meet different people and make connections.

Spring internship season is around the corner. If you’re interested in completing an internship, start searching and putting in applications now! Who knows….you may even be able to land your dream job after interning.

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In 2015, I took a job working for an event company. The company was responsible for helping Susan G. Komen put on their annual Race for the Cure. It was a temporary position but I knew that I would love it so I didn’t care. I knew the position would definitely be an emotional one for me. I didn’t know if I was going to cry everyday or what but I knew that it was for me. Working from home, putting on events, and traveling the local area is right up my alley. What I did not know was that the position would have life-long effects on me.

One of my favorite parts about the job was the people. And when I say people, I don’t mean my coworkers (I was working from home remember? So I only saw them on race day). I’m talking about the women who are survivors. The women who were passionate about the race. The women (and men) who were participating in an effort to support someone. Those stories are the ones that had an impact on me.

You see, they were all very different. But we all had something in common. Whether it was for a mom, sister, auntie, cousin, or coworker. Or if they were walking in support, memory, or just to spread knowledge. Looking back now, I know it was meant for me to take that job. It helped me through the healing process of losing my aunt. It shed light on my feelings and let me know that my family wasn’t the only ones going through this. Whenever someone asks me about my favorite job, I always tell them it was this one.

What I learned about Breast Cancer

1. If something feels different, check it out! There was a lady who was diagnosed with breast cancer. She felt like something was off with her body and could not figure it out. Doctors checked her for just about everything and every time they came back with nothing. Her mammogram even came back normal. It wasn’t until she went back in for a scan of her chest that they found the cancer. It was in the tissues in between her breasts. Being persistent about her health is how she is able to tell her story today.
2. Genetic testing is available but can be tricky. I met another lady who told me about getting tested for the breast cancer genes (BRCA1 & BRCA2). Everyone carries these genes but they become a problem when they mutate or have abnormalities. However having an abnormal gene doesn’t mean you will get the disease.
3. It is possible to have cystic breast tissue. Many women find smaller lumps in their breast and automatically assume it is cancer. Sometimes having cystic breast tissue is the cause. Like cancer, there is no cure for the cysts but they don’t need to be removed unless they are large or cause pain.
4. Breast cancer mortality rates are higher in black women. Although black women are less likely than white women to be diagnosed with breast cancer, it is more likely to be fatal in black women. Black women also tend to be diagnosed at a younger age than white women.

It is recommended that you do a breast self-exam once a month. If you are unsure about anything you feel, check with your primary care doctor. Remember, awareness and acting early is key!

Breast self-exam image pulled from http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-self-exam

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When my friend sent the information to our group chat everyone’s immediate response was, “How did you find this?” It was very random to say the least but we were down to go. After all, it’s not everyday that someone sends you a link for something called “The Sweet Spot.”

Howard Theatre is usually standing room only so we purchased reserved seats since we didn’t know how things would play out. The tickets were fairly inexpensive on Groupon ($24 reserved, $12 general admission) so it wasn’t a big deal to upgrade.

The first thing I saw walking in was a woman with her boobs bedazzled. Then I look down to see condoms on the seats. “What are we getting in to?” immediately crossed my mind. I should have known better when I read that the theme for the night was fetishes but I didn’t think much of it. We then see a woman on stage with a leash and collar on. And the drink menu? With names like “The Sweet Spot,” “Leg Spreader” and “Deep Throat,” the drinks definitely fit the theme. And if you ordered all three guess what you ask for? That’s right, a “threesome.” Imagine having that conversation with someone later!

The show wasn’t quite what I had in mind. Remember I’m thinking about the movie with Christina Aguilera. So I’m thinking singing, dancing, the whole event! Nope. There was mostly dancing in little to no clothing, some poetry reading, and a lady who sang “And I’m telling you”; which clearly did not fit the theme. And I’ll be honest, the music wasn’t the best in my opinion. Everything had lots of slow tempos which made the show seem like it was dragging. My friends and I ended up leaving early because we were hungry and couldn’t last the rest of the show. (There was a company selling food but the line was always long.)

Overall, I would say we had a good time. It was a very interesting event for it being our first Burlesque show. I can see us attending another show in the future….just not one we found on Groupon.

Have you purchased tickets to anything interesting on Groupon? Let me know in the comments!

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When I decided to rebrand I knew I needed something that would encompass a variety of my favorite things. I spent weeks trying to think of a new name because I wanted something with value. I also knew that I couldn’t just use my name as it is extremely common. The light bulb went off when I was talking to someone about all the things I needed to do and said “Erin needs to run errands.” It was so perfect to me because I’m always on the go and I’m always up for adventure.

I started poking around with the idea and asking people about their errands without telling them exactly why I was asking. I wanted to see what they usually included to make sure my idea wasn’t too far fetched. And sure enough I received tons of answer. The funniest one had to come from a friend who met Vice President Joe Biden on an airplane. She is an author and CEO of her own brand so she is always on the run. When she was telling the story, she mentioned how her wig wasn’t on and she wasn’t prepared but she made it her business to get her book in his hand no matter what. And she succeeded! As she was telling this story, I said to myself “This is it. This is what I want to portray.”

Women are set to be the caretakers. We are the minority yet we hold the buying power. And if you look more closely at women of color, we are the trendsetters. Yet we are so left behind. Brands would rather look to steal ideas from us than to actually ask us our opinions. We’re leading the movement for entrepreneurship but it’s all built off of what we create for ourselves. We have to create the brands, create the products, and create the lanes. Doing all the work and running all the errands with little recognition. Not anymore.

As I use this blog to make my dreams a reality, I hope it also inspires someone else to take a leap of faith towards theirs. A mustard seed of faith is all you need. And along the way I hope more and more women turn their passions into sources of income. And running errands into their lifestyle of making things happen for themselves.

Sincerely,

Erin

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Over the years I have developed a passion for makeup. And by passion I mean if you look at my bank statement you would think Ulta and Sephora are bill collectors. I watch tons of YouTube videos (AaliyahJay, MakeUpShayla & Naturally Sunny are my faves) but I wanted to learn more about this hobby. I had learned lots from YouTube (AaliyahJay’s eyelash tutorial saved my life) but I wanted to make sure that I was comfortable enough to work on other people. Maybe even turn it into a way to earn extra income.

In most states, Maryland included, there is no such thing as a licensed makeup artist (MUA). You can be a licensed esthetician which means you’re skilled in skincare, facials, waxing, etc. But not strictly a makeup artist, which is why most MUAs proclaim that they are self-taught. You can also earn a certificate in makeup artistry and that is what I did to help develop my self-taught skills.

When I told people I was taking a makeup class, their first question was always “Where?” And they always seemed shocked at the answer. Which led me to writing this post because more people should know about the resources in their backyard.

I earned my certificate from Prince George’s Community College. I usually call it the 13th grade when it comes to education but it can be a great source for continuing education courses. You would be amazed at what you can learn at your local community college. Most offer courses in a variety of topics that can help you expand your expertise or find a great side hustle. It also helps that they often cater to the working adult by offering classes on nights and weekends. From hair braiding, photography/videography, or event planning there’s tons of things you can learn.

To earn the makeup artistry certificate, I had to take 2 courses both 4 weeks long. The classes were once a week, 3 hours long, and I went after work which made it convenient. The teacher was contracted meaning that she wasn’t just someone who created the class. She is a working MUA who also teaches for a company outside of the community college. She was able to share her portfolio along with information on what works for her. For example, her bridal contract and how she prepares for her clients.

All the makeup looks we created on ourselves so we didn’t have to worry about someone else making us look like a clown. It was a great experience to be in a room full of girls who were also interested in makeup. (Girls who love makeup can sit and talk for days together!) We were able to share information on products we’ve tried, our favorite indie brands, or even our creative processes. We were also able to share tips and tricks to help each other out. At the beginning of each session, the teacher would ask what we were interested in learning as a group that way she could focus on the areas that were difficult for us. There was also time at the end of class to ask questions if you struggled with something. For example, I HATED smokey eyes going into the class (my eyes are already dark like raccoon eyes) but they instructor showed me how to do it in a way that was a little less intimidating for me.

Overall, the class was pretty fun. I’ve been able to practice and take what I learned to apply it to other people, other skin types, and even give recommendation to my friends who aren’t as skilled in makeup. I would recommend continuing education classes to anyone who wants to strengthen their skills or even if you are interested in a new hobby. You should never stop learning and taking a class with an expert may help strengthen your confidence in your skill.

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Over the past couple of week’s I have seen more and more pictures of it pop up on Instagram. So many of my friends had been and I just had to find out what was this new, intriguing space. Once I found out and was able to visit their Instagram for myself, the nerd in me screamed let’s go!

The current exhibit is called XYZT: Abstract Landscapes. It uses imagery and digital art to create a sensory experience of the four dimensions: X (horizontal), Y (vertical), Z (depth), and T (time). It includes about 11 different pieces, several of which respond to movement and are great for pictures (no flash allowed though). I felt like a kid in a candy shop interacting with many of the pieces.

It is different than the experience you get at most museums where you are just there to see the artwork. In this space, you get to become a part of the art work. If you go after 5:30pm, only people who are 21+ with a proper ID area allowed because they have a bar. Also unlike the Smithsonians, Artechouse is not free. Tickets are $25 per adult and must be purchased in advance because there are time slots. 

As with most DC spaces, the most frustrating part about the space is figuring out parking and finding the building. It is located in a building between a pizza shop and a Potbelly’s. The naked eye would not see it at first so make sure you do that thing where you turn the music down so you can see. There is a garage right beside the building as there is not much street parking in the area.

The last day for the XYZT exhibit is September 3 so if the pictures sparked your creativity make sure you head there before the end of summer.

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Wavez Silent Party was at Howard Theatre and earlybird tickets were $20. The only other time I’ve been to Howard Theatre was for a Dom Kennedy concert a few years ago so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I just remembered the area by the stage being an open space, perfect for a party.

For some reason leading up to the party I was thinking it might be best to bring my own headphones. But then it hit me, “Well Erin, how are you going to tune into the stations?” (Don’t be like me. Think smarter not harder) When you walk in, they scan your ticket and trade you a pair of headphones for your I.D. They also give you another ticket with a number on it so that you can get your I.D. back at the end of the night. If you lose or break the headphones you have to pay $40 (which is why they keep your I.D.)

When we first got there, I was scoping out the crowd. I needed to know what I had gotten myself into; was this a work something twerk something type of vibe? Or more of a ‘I’m in my zone’ type thing? Mostly females or a good mixed crowd? You know the typical questions you have when going to a party. There were 3 DJs on the stage, playing 3 stations in the headphones: Afro-Soca, R&B, and Hip-Hop. 2 of the DJs were female which I find extremely dope because you don’t see that often #GirlPower. The ears to the headphones were trimmed in lights and changed based on the station you were listening to (red, blue, or green).

It was definitely an experience I enjoyed. From singing out loud like no one was watching to doing the Electric Slide with the whole dance floor. And it’s honestly a perfect way to meet people but not feel obligated to. There were times when other people would come over and sing with me because no one in there group was listening to the same thing. It was also pretty funny to see the puzzled look on someone’s face when they see you jammin’ to a song. Then curiosity leads them to changing the station to see what you’re listening to.

The crowd was definitely mixed. You had the anti-social social crowd who stood in groups with their friends. A few people who brought out the clappas to twerk. And the Afro-Caribbeans who brought their flags to twirl and wave. It was definitely a fun experience that I would recommend for anyone. Even if you don’t party all the time, it’s was a great environment, in a chill place where you don’t have to worry about being turnt up. You can just catch the vibe and do your own thing. There are plenty of Silent Dance Tours that travel around the world. Check your local Eventbrite to find the closest one near you.

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I had heard of Turning Natural from a few coworkers. I had been meaning to check it out when my mom mentioned it to me so we decided what better time to go than now?

Turning Natural is a black-owned juice bar with 2 locations in the DMV. From the parking lot it looks very dim inside but there is so much light that shines once you go in. The staff was very friendly and able to offer suggestions since it was our first visit. There were even a few other customers who offered suggestions about their favorite products.

The theme of the entire store is centered around the magic that exudes from African Americans. The smoothies have clever names like Swizz Beets, Green Latifah, Just Blaze, and the symbol formerly known as Prince. There’s a bookshelf shaped like a tree on the wall that features books by and about black people. They also have signs that promote positive energy.

Besides the smoothies their menu also includes juice, black bean burgers, vegan cookies, a juice cleanse, and so much more. I’ve visited a few different times now and each time has been a great experience. I definitely recommend checking them out. Whether you’re currently eating clean or not it’s a great chance to support a Black Owned Business with an awesome energy.

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