What to Wear

It’s a no brainer that you should ALWAYS follow the dress code when one is provided. The hostess of the bridal shower I attended made it simple by requesting floral dress. But what happens when one isn’t provided? First, consider the setting. Will the event be inside or outside? Was the invitation semi-formal or informal? In any situation, a casual dress in a pastel color is a great choice. If ever in doubt just simply ask the hostess!

What to Gift

Now here is where things got tricky for me. Originally, I decided to gift the bride an item from the wedding registry as it was listed on the bridal shower invitation. But after talking to my mom and a few other women, I was told the bridal shower gift should specifically be for the bride. Makes sense right? Well pulling something together at the last minute is a headache. I ended up getting a personalized set of Mr. & Mrs. stemless wine glasses from Things Remembered. Then I threw in a few spa time items like lavender castile soap, body scrub, body butter, and a candle. My tip here is to think about the bride. Is her style extravagant or more minimal? Does she have a separate bridal registry? In the end, other people still gifted items from the registry so my first plan would have worked out. But now I know to prepare in advance.

What to Wish

Most events have a guestbook or frame for you to sign. At a bridal shower or wedding, you may get the opportunity to leave more than a simple “congratulations.” Prepare your words! You never want to be caught off-guard if you’re asked to make a statement for a video or to sign a book. The last thing you want to do is hold up the line thinking of what to say. Depending on how well you know the couple will determine what you should wish. Something as simple as “Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness” is quick, simple and sweet!

Remember, a wedding is the start of a new journey for the couple. Whether you go simple or more thoughtful being apart of the moment is what matters most! Have any bridal shower tips? Leave them in a comment below.

The post Attending a Bridal Shower: What You Should Know appeared first on Running Erins.

I started seeing a therapist towards the end of March after struggling with a pregnancy loss. On the outside, you couldn’t tell that I was still struggling most days. I was back into my normal routine and trying to leave the house with a smile daily. But I also found myself crying everyday. Sometimes several times a day. Things happened so fast and I didn’t know what to do but fake it til I made it. I knew I was taking on too much emotionally but I couldn’t even bring myself search for a therapist. No matter how much I knew I needed it. Life kept moving and so did I.

While I was at the Brave Summit, I heard a lot about mental health and why it was important. Things I already knew but had yet to apply to myself. I was so used to giving other people advice and helping them work through their problems that I couldn’t see the need to take my own advice. And still, at a time when I needed support, I felt myself still giving the small bit of energy I had to others. But when Amanda Seales said “Therapy is like a gym membership for your brain” it sparked something in me.

“Erin, how can you preach about better for everyone else but not seek it for yourself?”

While talking to a few girls at BRAVE I learned (or was reminded) about therapyforblackgirls.com, an online directory to help Black women find Black therapists. I knew this was my sign to stop BSing and get the help I needed. Truthfully, I wasn’t ashamed or discouraged about getting help. I just didn’t know where to find it and how comfortable I would be with the person I found. When it comes to doctors and specialist, I am very picky in what I am looking for. I like to have Black, female doctors because they can understand me as a young Black woman. So when looking for a therapist, I wanted a younger Black woman; someone who mirrored me. I felt she would relate to me better. Through the website, I was able to find therapists in my area and review their profiles in one place before making a selection.

Searching for a doctor or therapist can be a stressful process. Therapy For Black Girls took away a lot of the anxiety in the process. The first meeting with my therapist, I cried as soon as I sat down. There was so much weight I was carrying and so much I couldn’t wait to get off of my chest. Of course she couldn’t help me work through all of my problems in one meeting. But I literally felt lighter when I left. I was able to unload some of the things that I had bottled up. I also discovered a few things that I didn’t realize were bothering me.

Benefits of Seeking Mental Healthcare

Before I decided to see a therapist I did try talking to people in my circle. But I couldn’t find the balance between people who acted like nothing happened and those who treated me like I was an inch away from being sent to the nearest psych ward. It was honestly a relief to speak to someone who was outside of my situation and without judgement. Although I was speaking to a mental health professional, I felt very comfortable. I didn’t feel “crazy” or like I was on the edge of self-destruction. I was able to have someone listen to me as I talk and give advice that was valuable. Even though I feel I have a better handle on things now, I’ve still been seeing her consistently because I know healing doesn’t happen overnight. And truthfully, it is an eye opening process.

Mental health is something that we tend to ignore. But we should all take it more seriously. Depression and anxiety are real things that effect us daily. If you run from them you could start to suffer from long term effects like stress and heart attacks. I encourage everyone to see a licensed therapist. Whether you’re dealing with a tramautic event, stressed with work, or looking to learn more about self care. Mental health care should not be a negative thing.

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Black
Resilient
Artisitic
Vigilent
Enough

BRAVE is an annual event that was started 3 years ago by black women at Georgetown. The event seeks to “honor the eclectic narrative of Black women/femmes” by “combating the pervasive media coverage and replacing it with the truth.” Just by the title I knew this would be an event for me. I was even more sold when I found out that Amanda Seales, from Insecure on HBO, would be the keynote speaker. What I will say is that I did expect the event to be full of empowered women empowering women. What I did not expect was to leave feeling inspired and overwhelmed by the joy in the room.

The first panel featured Erika Totten, a spiritual life coach, and Deshauna Barber, Miss USA 2016. They spoke about Black Girl Joy and what it truly means when you tap into your magic. One of the key gems that I took away was about self-love.

“You have to learn to break the chains of what people have told you. Only then will you truly love and know yourself.” – Erika Totten, To Live Unchained

Deshauna told us how she felt the need to wear wigs during the Miss USA pageant. But she reflected by saying that embracing her natural hair opened the door for

another black woman with natural hair from DC to win Miss USA the following year. My favorite part of this panel was Erika encouraging us all to get up and twerk! She said twerking 10 minutes a day helps open your root chakra and I can’t argue with that!

After the opening panel, we split into breakout sessions. The first one I attended was “Black Women in Public Relations.” I am currently studying for my Master’s in PR so it’s a perfect fit. The ladies on the panel stressed how important it is to determine what you want your image to be.

“Be authentic to who you are.” – Brittany Carter, B. Carter Solutions

Lunch was catered by Florida Avenue Grill, the oldest soul food spot in the world. And it did not disappoint. I’m talking fried chicken, greens, mac & cheese, yams. They even had a vegan option for those with dietary restrictions. For dessert, there was a variety of cake jars provided by Cakelove.

The next breakout session I went to was “Black Women in Media/Entertainment.” This one definitely wasn’t what I expected but I definitely got a lot of useful information. It featured music producer Trakgirl, talent manager Paris Cole, and actress Candice Macfarlane. These ladies talked about having confidence in yourself and your brand. As women in a male dominated field, they stressed the importance of knowing all the roles of your team. And they mentioned my favorite phrase, “never stop learning.” One of the biggest takeaways was that you don’t have to feel like you have it all together.

“Remember everybody is a mess. Every moment is meant for you. Just align yourself.” – @Paris_Cole

The last panel was all about developing your career. Shelby Hall, of Under Armour, and Ericka Pittman, of Combs Enterprises, spoke on making your passion work for you. They said their biggest advice for young professionals is to send “Thank You” cards because it makes you stand out. They also expressed that you have to take your time to get where you want to be in life. Ericka has had 7 jobs in the 9 years that she has worked with Diddy. But it took her 22 years to get to where she is. She is now the Chief Marketing Officer at Aquahydrate, one of Diddy’s brands.

“One thing that Diddy told me is ‘You don’t always have to be the smartest person in the room. Sometimes you just have to shut the f*ck up.'” – Ericka Pittman, Combs Ent.

Of course the day ran long but I couldn’t leave without seeing Amanda Seales. Her Instagram stories are filled with great gems about black culture and feminism. In speaking with us, she was very clear that black women run shit. But she also said that there has to be an effort to build each other up because too often we consider constructive criticism a drag. Amanda expressed the need for people of color to create our own spaces and not just our own content. She also spoke a lot about mental health saying that therapy is like a gym membership for your brain. Her information was insightful and relatable. She also kept the crowd laughing.

“If you’re trying to find a wife, come to an Amanda Seales show. There’s women with degrees and regular pap smears. The Dashiki chic!” – Amanda Seales

Amanda will be back in DC on July 21 with “Smart, Funny, & Black” at the Kennedy Center. I also suggest keep up with BRAVE! Although the event was pretty long, the information was well worth it!

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To our surprise, the drive from Maryland was only about 8 hours and we only paid one toll. Driving up the mountainside of Buffalo was definitely much easier than driving through New York City traffic. But there were a lot less sights to see. Crossing the border and stopping at the Duty-Free shops were the highlight of the ride. We also had a short drive through what I like to call “Porn Town,” one of those areas with “Adult Movies Here” signs everywhere. But we listened to music and audio-books along the way to keep ourselves entertained.

We decided to stay in Niagara Falls for a night before heading to Toronto. The room we picked at Marriott on The Falls had an amazing view of the water. If you’re looking to stay in Niagara, this is definitely a hotel I would recommend. It was very nice to be in the middle of all the activity. There is a casino, restaurants like Margaritaville, and an amusement park all within a 5-10 minute drive. The room was very clean, beds were comfortable, and the bathroom was very modern. We had difficulty figuring out how to get down to the falls because we didn’t ask. But it’s close enough to take an inexpensive cab ride or maybe even walk when it isn’t too cold out.

We used a Groupon to have dinner at the Skylon Revolving Tower, a 775-foot dining experience that I will never forget! The food was great and seeing the falls from above at night was breathtaking.

Before heading to Toronto, we decided to get up close and personal with the falls. Seeing the view from our hotel window versus seeing it in person was a very different experience. The sound of the rushing water was very similar to being on the beach. But being that it was the beginning of March it was very cold so close to the water.

The drive from Niagara Falls to Toronto was only about 2 hours but of course we had to stop at the outlets! And we were so glad we did. I got 2 pair of Uggs for $200 Canadian which translates to $150 USD! Talk about a come up. We picked an AirBnB in Downtown Toronto and it was definitely an experience. This was the first time I’ve ever stayed in an AirBnB and I’ve always seen how nice they are. Don’t get me wrong, the home was nice and clean. But the description neglected to say that we were staying above a block of corner stores. Nonetheless, we didn’t run into many problems besides the loud city life at night.

We picked a lot of the places we ate it by looking at Yelp reviews. Many of them were very small, intimate diners but the food did not disappoint! My favorite meals were a breakfast burrito from Easy Restaurant and a la carte tacos from Grand Electric in Downtown Toronto. I found a food festival by searching Instagram and we were able to see people making ice sculptures and try maple taffy (it was gross). We also stumbled upon a dispensary while we were exploring the city. It was much different from the one I visited in Vegas. Very “hole-in-the-wall chic.”

Our last adventure was up to the CN Tower. For the price you pay it was pretty underwhelming if I’m being honest. The building is currently under construction so you can’t see the main observation room. They offer the option to substitute the main room with the higher Skypod, however, there was a 2-hour wait and there isn’t much to do inside the building to waste time. The construction also takes away from the glass floor exhibit because the walls are all boarded up.

The biggest thing that we didn’t expect is that most businesses do not take American check/credit cards. If you are able to swipe your card, you may be charged an International transaction fee. In non-tourist areas your best bet is to have cash on hand (American and Canadian bills were accepted everywhere we went).

Even though it was cold we had a great time. We were more into exploring than partying so I couldn’t tell you about the nightlife. But if you’re into adventure then I definitely suggest Canada!

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Dayna Bolden – Blogger/Entrepreneur

A friend of mine told me about Dayna and I’ve been following her ever since! She has such a down to earth personality and is genuinely interested in helping others win. Her story about going from 9-5 to entrepreneur is definitely relatable and inspiring. Her Insta-stories and IG lives are full of gems on topics from social media branding to being focused on your craft. Dayna’s tagline is “Do everything with love, passion, and style.” And that’s exactly what she does! Her love for her craft along with her go-getter attitude is what inspires me. She is also very down to earth when replying on social media!

Alex Elle – Author/Wellness Consultant

If you’ve never seen a post from DMV Native Alexandra Elle you have to be living under a rock! Her poetry and story-telling piece are all over social media. She uses her words to encourage self-love and self-care. She also hosts a podcast and teaches workshops focused on wellness. Alex has 4 books available for purchase on on Amazon. She also has an upcoming book signing at Politics and Prose in DC.

Mattie James – Lifestyle Blogger/Influencer

I stumbled across Mattie randomly on social media. Her tweets immediately spoke to me so I signed up for her newsletter, MattieMinute. These short, daily emails focus on becoming better at work and simply in life. I often share snippets from the newsletter on my Instagram story and get a lot of positive reactions. I always recommend signing up for it if you’re looking for a little daily encouragement. She also shares a lot of tips and tricks on branding and blogging via her website http://www.mattiejames.com/.

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I spent majority of my time in college in a committed, long distance relationship. Once we broke up, I decided to spend time focusing on myself. I was in no rush to date someone else because I had been with that person since I was 16. I didn’t realize that being single for 3 years was something that people would notice and constantly point out. It was like once I graduated, I was expected to date and get married right away. And the older I got, the more family and friends would start to ask questions.

“When are you going to find a boyfriend?”
“Are you talking to someone yet?”
“Are you gay?”

At one point, someone even told me that since I hadn’t found someone in college I was more likely to not get married. I tried to keep from falling into the trap but I started to wonder too. Why haven’t I found someone? Will I get married? If not, will I ever be truly happy alone? But that’s when I remembered I was single by choice! And it is no one’s choice but mine whether I decide to date or not.

It’s Okay to be Single

One of the things I had to realize was that it is okay to be single. Being alone is the best way to learn how to love yourself. Not to say that I treated myself badly or didn’t love myself at all. But I started to realize that I lost myself in my past relationship. I spent a lot of time thinking about what “WE” wanted or what would be best for “US” without putting myself first. You are still young in your 20s. You’re still learning about yourself. What you like and don’t like. What it means to be independent. Searching for your purpose in life. All of this is a lot so adding another person into the mix can be stressful! Not saying that it’s impossible to handle but it is definitely a growing pain to go through. Not to mention I actually was dating. I just hadn’t found someone who I deemed worthy enough to meet my family yet. As I got older, I had less time for people to waste and there’s no point in introducing someone when you have no idea where it’s going. And that’s okay too.

Stand Confident in Your Singleness

One of the biggest things that helped me combat everyone’s comments was being confident in myself. When you spend time second guessing your choices you start to question more than just why you’re single. Another thing that helped was understanding what standards I had set for myself and why I set them. When it comes to setting standards, everyone may not always agree with your reasoning or find them feasible. But as long as they work REALISTICALLY for you, who can tell you otherwise? Last but not least……I stopped looking! Once you stop focusing on being single and start loving yourself you will flourish and feel amazing. My hair started growing, I started losing weight and my skin was clearing up. I can’t say my booty got bigger because well….it didn’t. #LilBootiesMatter

Now here I am, 5 years after the break up, in a happy relationship. My friends love him. We have fun together. And most importantly, we aren’t worried what others think. Be patient and I’m sure the same will happen for you, if it hasn’t already.

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Made in America Festival in Philly

Road Trip Tips

1. Make concrete plans or loose plans. No in between.
   One of the hardest things I had to learn about road trips was making the plans. If you aren’t good at staying on task, making concrete plans could be stressful. On the opposite hand, it is also good to make loose plans that. It allows you to go with the flow and see more sights!
2. Be prepared!
   Get gas the day before. Make sure there are no issues with the vehicle. Set your location in your GPS. Plan out the space in the car so everyone can be comfortable. Plan for traffic.
3. Dress comfy.
   I love to be comfortable. You don’t want to be cold or hot when you’re in the car for extended periods of time. You can always change your clothes when you’re at your destination.
4. Pack a positive attitude!
   Who you travel with and why you’re traveling play a big part in your trip. No matter the reason, a positive attitude can take your trip from bad to great. Make a playlist. Bring your favorite snacks. Play car games.

As with any form of travel, your trip is what you make it! Enjoy yourself and make the experience something new. What trips do you plan to take in 2018?

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“I’m going to Vegas for a baby shower.”

If we’re being completely technical, I spent the weekend in Henderson, Nevada– about 15 minutes from the Las Vegas Strip. When you think about the area you automatically assume gambling, drinking, and an intoxicatingly good time. Although I was there for a baby shower, I still got to do all of those things. But in a way that was different from each of the previous times I have been to Vegas.

With cities that attract tourists, locals always know where to find the best deals and the best places to have fun. We decided to go to a resort casino because you have a higher chance at payout. Needless to say I still lost money. But that’s what happens when you play Blackjack like it wasn’t only your second time playing. But I still had fun. And it was nice to see the buildings were still honoring the victims who were lost during the shooting a few months ago.

One of my favorite parts about any trip is food! I love to eat and I love to try new food items. Although I am not a big fan of fast food, I was dying to try In-N-Out. Everyone on the West Coast talks about how good it is. And both of the previous times I was in Vegas I didn’t get to try it. So this was it. I had to try it this time. And man was I disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, the burger was good and I would definitely eat it again. It just didn’t live up to the hype. Maybe it was because I didn’t have a milkshake? Or they were having a bad day? Who knows. But the fries were like crumbs and the burger could be seasoned a little better. Either way I still inhaled the burger like I hadn’t eaten all day.

The weather this time of year is also a big change for me. The last 2 times I went to Vegas it was summer and extremely hot. In the first week of December, I found myself wearing a jacket and Uggs during the trip. The day time is warmer but it was pretty windy (I almost lost a nail when the car door flew open). Being away from the city gives you the chance to star gaze at night. And as I was leaving the moon was still in the sky as the sun came up.

The one last thing I wanted to do before I left was visit a dispensary because I believe in the benefits of medical marijuana. Since dispensaries are opening in Maryland, I wanted to get a feel for want they look like. The difference with Nevada is recreational marijuana is legal. Anyone over the age of 18 is free to purchase from dispensaries and use it in private without a medical card. I will not lie, it was very overwhelming for me. There is so much to learn and understand about each product and the effects to the body. I definitely wasn’t expecting the set up either. The wall with “flower” is separated into 3 sections: value, premium, and superior. They also offer edibles like gummies, cookies, and honey. The staff was very helpful in educating me about what they do and how it works if I was interested in purchasing.

Although this trip was a little different, I still enjoyed it! The baby shower. The sightseeing. The food. There is nothing like visiting family and friends who help you feel at home. If you ever want to visit Vegas but want a chill trip, consider staying in a bordering city. Sometimes making a trip not so average can open your eyes to so much more about the area. I’m glad I got to see more than Vegas this time around.

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Everybody knows that when it comes to saving money, coupons are the way to go. Everyone has their tips and tricks for couponing but it has never really worked for me. I would much rather know where to shop than to search for coupons. When I first started wearing makeup, I only knew MAC products. That’s what everyone talked about so that’s where I went. I slowly but surely started shopping at Sephora. Both of which can be a great place to find products but they can both get a little pricey. It wasn’t until I got more into makeup that I started branching out to other brands and other stores. I’m going to share with you my favorite places to buy makeup on a budget.

Place #1: Ulta

Ulta is like the best of both worlds when it comes to beauty products. I say that because you can find both luxury and drugstore brands. This is always my go to spot when I need to find a specific product for the low. Make sure to check out the ‘Sale & Coupon’ section of their website to see what deals are current. They also frequently send catalogs with a coupon so sign up for their mailing list. The key here is to not be afraid to try inexpensive brands! You may find a product that you like.

Place #2: TJ Maxx or Ross

Some people are going to be mad at me for giving this one up but OH WELL SIS! I am here to help us slay and save some coins okay? I am an avid TJ Maxx/Ross shopper but usually for clothes and home-goods. It wasn’t until someone posted about finding the ABH Cream Contour Kits and Shea Moisture products that I started checking the beauty section. Shea Moisture was much easier to find in both stores. I had to go to 2 different TJ Maxx locations to find the ABH Contour Kits. And for the price it was definitely worth it. I’ve also been able to find BareMinerals, Real Techniques, and Chi products for great prices.

Place # 3: Nordstrom Rack 

I never really shopped at Nordstrom Rack, mostly because there wasn’t one near me. They recently opened a location by my job and I have not been able to stay out of it. While I was browsing, I came across the makeup section and it was just what I needed. Urban Decay. NYX. Too Faced. MAC. Big names for great prices. I purchased the Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray, regularly $32, for $19.

Place #4: The Cosmetics Company

If there is an outlet mall near you check to see if The Cosmetics Company is there. For my local readers there is one at the National Harbor and Queenstown (Ocean City) outlets. This store usually carries items that are over-made or out of season. For example, I found MAC’s Ariana Grande Lipglass here once it had left stores. Just because MAC is no longer selling it doesn’t mean it isn’t still in style!

Bonus Tip 1: I also like to use Ebates when I’m shopping online. They work with stores like MAC, Ulta, and Sephora to get you coupons and cash back on your purchases. You can get $10 when signing up by using my link here.

Bonus Tip 2: If you are a Professional Makeup Artist (meaning you have a portfolio of work to show + you do makeup on others) you can apply for discounts. Do some internet research to see what brands and pro discounts and which ones you are eligible for.

Are there places that you find good makeup for a great price? Let me know in the comments below!

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In 2015, I took a job working for an event company. The company was responsible for helping Susan G. Komen put on their annual Race for the Cure. It was a temporary position but I knew that I would love it so I didn’t care. I knew the position would definitely be an emotional one for me. I didn’t know if I was going to cry everyday or what but I knew that it was for me. Working from home, putting on events, and traveling the local area is right up my alley. What I did not know was that the position would have life-long effects on me.

One of my favorite parts about the job was the people. And when I say people, I don’t mean my coworkers (I was working from home remember? So I only saw them on race day). I’m talking about the women who are survivors. The women who were passionate about the race. The women (and men) who were participating in an effort to support someone. Those stories are the ones that had an impact on me.

You see, they were all very different. But we all had something in common. Whether it was for a mom, sister, auntie, cousin, or coworker. Or if they were walking in support, memory, or just to spread knowledge. Looking back now, I know it was meant for me to take that job. It helped me through the healing process of losing my aunt. It shed light on my feelings and let me know that my family wasn’t the only ones going through this. Whenever someone asks me about my favorite job, I always tell them it was this one.

What I learned about Breast Cancer

1. If something feels different, check it out! There was a lady who was diagnosed with breast cancer. She felt like something was off with her body and could not figure it out. Doctors checked her for just about everything and every time they came back with nothing. Her mammogram even came back normal. It wasn’t until she went back in for a scan of her chest that they found the cancer. It was in the tissues in between her breasts. Being persistent about her health is how she is able to tell her story today.
2. Genetic testing is available but can be tricky. I met another lady who told me about getting tested for the breast cancer genes (BRCA1 & BRCA2). Everyone carries these genes but they become a problem when they mutate or have abnormalities. However having an abnormal gene doesn’t mean you will get the disease.
3. It is possible to have cystic breast tissue. Many women find smaller lumps in their breast and automatically assume it is cancer. Sometimes having cystic breast tissue is the cause. Like cancer, there is no cure for the cysts but they don’t need to be removed unless they are large or cause pain.
4. Breast cancer mortality rates are higher in black women. Although black women are less likely than white women to be diagnosed with breast cancer, it is more likely to be fatal in black women. Black women also tend to be diagnosed at a younger age than white women.

It is recommended that you do a breast self-exam once a month. If you are unsure about anything you feel, check with your primary care doctor. Remember, awareness and acting early is key!

Breast self-exam image pulled from http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-self-exam

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